The Email Confession
by kelli.k
Summary: This is the second way I wish it would turn out. Similar to my last story... but a little steamier down the line... Let me know what you thought... ;)
1. Chapter 1

The Email Confession Chapter 1

* * *

To: Amy Farrah Fowler

From: Sheldon Lee Cooper

Date: May 30th, 2015

Subject: Our 'break'

* * *

Dear Amy,

You asked me to give you some time to re-evaluate our relationship. As to the grounds you have suggested such an action _no_ w, I am not quite clear. I would have preferred you discuss this with me directly but since you were understanding last year when I left abruptly, I will give you the distance you require.

However, as you contemplate as to what your next course of action will be, I would like you to consider the following facts.

Fact 1: **I love you** as I have stated often in the past months.

Fact 2: You should know me enough by now to realize our relationship was never the conventional one. It had originally started as a relationship of the mind but over the years has developed into what I would consider a 'romantic' one.

I am not someone who does things without thought and planning. I like to be in control, hence the relationship agreement.

Did you know that the Relationship Agreement took me months to draw up? In fact, I started it after you kissed me that night you were drunk. I found your kiss… _fascinating_. I never told you then because we were not in a formal relationship. As you yourself stated when we met… all forms of physical contact up to and including coitus were off the table. I did not want you to think that I expected more.

Also, what others consider to be romantic does not affect me and I thought you felt the same. _You_ stated the R.A. was romantic and binding whereas others think it is restrictive and only skews in my favor. (Lest not forget that I have an eidetic memory… I remember **everything** you have ever said to me since that first day at the coffee shop.) I do not buy you flowers because I feel they are a waste. They wither within days and lose their appeal. The mushroom log, however, **does** last two to three years which means you will have something from me that keeps on giving rather than wilt away and die. I thought it would please you. I _want_ to live on Mars or on Earth or anywhere else with you (even though I might not have really taken your view on such a matter into account – I sincerely apologize for my oversight). I find **that** romantic- being anywhere with you, _not my thoughtlessness to ask_. I also found it romantic when you called me out on my mistake. It showed you cared enough to tell me the truth to my face, something only my mother and grandmother do. That is brave. I love that about you.

Fact 3: You also know that I do not handle certain situations well. I don't understand a lot of facial cues or various innuendos. I'm trying though… I'm trying extremely hard to be a man worthy of you. I know what kind of man I want to be. I want to be the man who will support you, love you, and take care of you when you are ill. I want to be everything for you but it's taking me longer than the average person. I am not an average person Amy. You love me for my quirks whereas others find them obnoxious and abhorrent. _You_ told me so… twice.

One situation I am making an effort to improve is the physical side of this relationship. _**I**_ wanted to see the love spell through when we were playing D &D. At least that way I could show you that I was truly trying to change. Of course, you might have preferred for me to initiate such an action on my own but honestly, I didn't know how and so when opportunity arose, I grabbed it.

Furthermore, ever since I kissed you on the train, we incorporated date night kisses in the R.A. and I look forward to these kisses. If there is a problem with the frequency or intensity or even duration of these kisses, I would have expected you to tell me. On the other hand, I have heard nothing so I concluded that we were doing well. I was also the one who suggested altering the parameters on date night and we ended up building a fort and you spending the night. (It was a new experience and a little intimidating…but I did agree with some minor compromising). I enjoyed sleeping next to your warm body while the intoxicating scent of your hair and perfume filled my nostrils).

The bottom line is, if you believe I am not acting properly or see that I have not fully understood a specific social convention or construct, I would like to be informed so that I can rectify the situation. You have taught me a lot these past five years but I suppose I still have quite a bit to learn.

Fact 4: It has been increasingly hard to focus on anything _but you_ lately. From your reaction on our anniversary, I assume you believe the opposite. Penny and Leonard pointed out to me that you might see it as indifference on my part but that is far from the truth. _So very far from the truth_. If you had given me the chance that night or even the next day, you would have realized that the Flash comment was a way for me to regain control. Sitting on the couch while kissing you like that was immensely arousing and I needed a brief moment to compose myself or other events would have happened right there that would have made it a very, let's say, sticky situation. This brings me to the next fact.

Fact 5: Even though I have never stated this to you directly (yes, I'm a coward)… I must tell you that I do find you attractive and sexually appealing. You are **everything** I could want in a partner.

 **Your eyes** …oh your eyes. The way they light up when you are happy. There is a certain sparkle to them that hypnotisizes me. Every time we watch a film you prefer, I can't help but stare at _you_ and think about all the things a southern _gentleman_ should **not** be thinking of doing to you. Yes, you distract me and I love it despite what you may think.

 **Your bottom lip** , the one I have been restraining from biting a little …is _so_ enticing. Your lips always taste so good.

Moreover, the way your tight skirts accentuate the curves of **your bottom** is driving me crazy woman! I'm not quite sure when all these urges surfaced…but it has become nearly impossible not to think of doing things to you I've only read about or seen in movies. I don't want to tie you up and such… but I must admit I like slapping that luscious posterior of yours. (Is this too much information for you?)

Fact 6: From the moment I laid eyes on you and heard you speak in that coffee shop, I knew that I wanted to be with you. Never before had I been interested in anyone until you came along. And yes, I have been struggling but it was an internal struggle. The question was _never_ whether I wanted to be with you or how I should be with you. My mind said and insisted on order and discipline but my heart argued that there was so much more to this relationship stuff.

I have been fighting with myself for too long. I am ready to surrender completely to you, in all respects… _if you will let me_. I want to give myself to this relationship and I never want you to doubt 'us' again. (You are turning me into a hippy Amy Farrah Fowler and I love you even more for that! _But not a word of this to anyone. To them, I am still a highly evolved being… it's just that I have found my other half now._ )

I believe I have covered everything I feel you should take into consideration. If you want **me** as I am, flaws and all… I will be here waiting for you. Even if it takes all summer, I will be here.

If, however, you are looking for something more than I can give…an idealized version of what relationships should be or look like…then I suggest you do what is best for you.

I am willing to compromise though because honestly, I do not want to be without you.

Love always,

SLC

* * *

*********************About a week later…*******************************

* * *

To: Sheldon Lee Cooper

From: Amy Farrah Fowler

Date: June 5th, 2015

Subject: Our 'break'

* * *

Dear Sheldon,

I have read your email at least twice- _daily_. I did not answer you as I was still trying to comprehend it all. You, Dr. Cooper, are truly a remarkable man. That email…those words… **that** is what I have been longing for. Of course, I would have preferred it if you had told me in person but I guess I can understand why you didn't.

The reason I felt I needed a break to reflect was that you kept confusing me. We would make one step forward and then it seemed as if we had made no steps at all. I felt that I was constantly pushing you further in this relationship and you were just tagging along because that is what you thought you **had** to do, like a job obligation of some sorts, because it was stipulated in an agreement.

I just wanted to relinquish that control to you for a change. I'm tired of pushing.

I want you to make **me** a priority as I have felt on numerous occasions that I was not a priority at all.

Your email made a lot of things clear for me. I know you love me. I gather from the lengthy email that you had put a lot of thought into it. I truly appreciate it.

I concur; our relationship is anything but conventional. However, I have come to realize that our relationship works for _us_. I should not be comparing what we have to other relationships or idealized versions of what they should constitute. For that, I sincerely apologize. (Of course, as a girl, once in a while it wouldn't hurt if you made the effort to do something more conventional…just to humor me.)

You do make me happy and I love you so much that it hurts sometimes. I'm afraid of touching you or kissing you if it's not on the allocated day or time. I have been afraid that you might snap and run away again and my heart would break. Irreparably this time.

The fact that you said you loved me has both relieved me and frightened me to death. The stakes are too high and I have invested too much of my heart in _us_. I was afraid and I am still a little apprehensive.

I will try to be more assertive and tell you exactly what I want because that R.A. does **not** cover quite a few of my needs. You also have to keep an open mind and not freak out.

That having been said, I am ready to end our 'break'. If you would like, we could meet at the coffee shop tomorrow at 4:30 pm. and discuss this a little further.

Yours always,

AFF

* * *

 _There's more to come… pun intended_ **;)**


	2. Chapter 2

The Email Confession Chapter 2

* * *

Upon reading Amy's response, Sheldon had no other choice… he had to see her immediately but first there was a new agreement that needed to be written up. _One that would benefit both of them._

It only took him a matter of minutes to construct the new pile of documents. Now, armed with the two things he needed to show Amy how much he cared and loved her, he set off, bus pants and all.

An hour or so later, he found himself standing in front of her door. He wasn't sure if he was excited or nervous. _Perhaps a combination of both_. His adrenaline levels were at their utmost levels. He knocked on her door and patiently waited for her to appear. There was no answer. Her schedule dictates that she would normally be home at that hour. He decides he has two options, either wait outside her door like a lost puppy or he could use her key to get in. Sheldon opted for the latter. He let himself in and sat on her couch. He could smell her scent throughout her apartment. Oh, how he had missed her.

As he was sitting there wondering where his girlfriend could be, he decided to wander around and take another look at those beautiful blue doors leading to her bedroom. He put his hand on the door and took a deep breath. He felt tempted to open them and go inside; after all, Amy had never specified that _he_ was not allowed in _her_ room.

Sheldon slowly turned the door knobs and pulled opened the double doors. Her room was immaculate. He immediately noticed the Christmas frame he had got her on her bedside table. He had said it … _he treasures her_ and now he wants to show her just how much. Then he remembered that Amy had a water bed. "Wouldn't one get sea sick sleeping on these," he wondered and immediately sat on the edge. It was a strange sensation…soft but hard at the same time. He took off his shoes and climbed on the bed. He sat with his head resting against the headboard and his long legs stretched out. Sheldon was actually getting used to the feeling of the bed when he heard the front door open. He jumped off the bed as if he were a little kid getting caught doing something naughty.

Meanwhile, Amy had noticed Sheldon's bag resting next to the couch.

"Sheldon?" she called out.

"In here," he shouted back. Amy could tell his voice was coming from the back of the apartment. She walked towards her room and sees him leaning against the entrance to her room, shoeless. A puzzled expression came across her face and just as she was getting ready to ask him what he was doing, Sheldon closed the distance between them and enveloped her in a hug so tight that she could barely breathe.

"I missed you Amy," he said in a whisper. "I couldn't wait till tomorrow."

"I know," she replied.

It was then that he looked down longingly at her and leaned in to capture her lips. His hand slid behind her neck and into her hair. He kissed her with such fervor as if his whole being were to die if he stopped. It was a kiss worthy of a Nobel Prize if there were such a thing. Amy was elated and breathless by the time they broke for air.

"Oh dear!" Sheldon exclaimed. That was the second most spontaneous thing he had ever done. The first being their kiss on Valentine's Day. Amy's grin literally went from one ear to the other.

"That was phenomenal Sheldon. My heart is still racing."

"I believe that is the purpose of a 'French kiss' Dr. Fowler… slow, sensuous tongue movements that create pleasure and desire.

"Sheldon… I don't know what to say."

"There's no reason to say anything Amy," he said as he leaned in again for another kiss. This time, he gently pulled her backwards to the bed and turned her so that she ended up with her calves touching the edge. He continued to push her till she was lying on her back.

"Is this okay with you?" he asked bashfully but there was nothing bashful about Sheldon's intentions.

"Yes," is all she could come out with.

"I love you Amy Farrah Fowler and I never want you to doubt how I feel about you," he said as he hovered over her; their bodies so close that the heat radiated from one to the other. Sheldon stared hard and just when she thought he was going to bolt, he sat up on top of her supporting his weight on his knees and slowly started undoing her cardigan.

For long seconds she looked and admired his fingers as they went from button to button. It was torturously slow, but then again, it wouldn't be Sheldon if he went at a faster pace. She wondered if their love making would be slow and torturous as well. She shuddered in delight at the thought. She wondered if he would implement his love for repetition in this circumstance too.

Sheldon let out a low moan and that's when Amy realized he had also unbuttoned her shirt and was now gazing at her lacy green bra which stood out against her fair skin. His eyes roamed her upper body and he wasn't quite sure as to what comes next but he didn't let his head dictate his actions either. It was instinct that would eventually guide him as if it were programmed in him even though he had never used the software before. He lied down next to her and Amy turned her head in his direction.

"We don't have to do this Sheldon, we …" but she was cut off again by his incredibly sexy voice.

"I know we _don't_ have to…I didn't come over here with the intent to ravish you tonight but for some reason I just couldn't resist your tempting lips."

"So why did you come over tonight instead of waiting until tomorrow?" she asked with a hint of disappointment.

"Now is not the time for me to explain…maybe later…" he said softly as he placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "Definitely later," he reassured her. His mind was racing…his pulse elevated and he could hear Amy slightly panting.

"Amy, if you do not object, I would like you to take off your skirt and tights please," he said timidly; the embarrassment written all over his face. "I would like to look at you."

Amy was uncertain if this was a dream or a page from an unwritten book but she obliged him. She got up from the bed and Sheldon propped himself up on his elbow to watch her. She undid the button and slowly lowered the zipper of her jean skirt, _Sheldon's favourite but she didn't know that_ …

She let the skirt fall down around her ankles and stepped out of it. Sheldon's eyes bulged when he saw that she wasn't wearing tights after all…but thigh- highs. He was in awe. She looked so sexy standing there in her bra, panties and stockings.

"Oh my!" he exclaimed as he eyed her legs up and down. Amy had a tremendous figure he thought but she chose to hide it under a bundle of wool. He gulped… _big time_!

"Amy, um… don't remove the stockings…um… they are, as Penny would put it 'hot'." He stood up in front of her slightly trembling from the vision _or vixen_ in front of him.

Amy got bolder and asked in a sultry voice, " _Are we nervous Dr. Cooper_?" He gulped again and put his arms on her shoulders.

"I assure you that I'm …extremely nervous but also extremely aroused. Believe it or not but I _do_ have hormones and right now they are running riot…a total state of anarchy which I have no intention of controlling."

His mouth covered hers in desperate hunger. They clung together, their mouths slanting in need. He skimmed his hands over her body as she reverently traced the contour of his back under his shirts. He flinched a bit at her touch but she didn't give in.

"Sheldon, if we are going to do this, you have to relax. Let me touch you."

She immediately sensed the tight rein he had on his body just drift away.

"These must come off," Amy said as she tugged at his shirts. Sheldon nodded and in one swift movement, peeled off both shirts and let them drop to the ground. Amy had seen his chest before but this was a completely different setting… this was for intimacy and suddenly he seemed like sex on a stick to her. _A tall, sexy praying mantis waiting to be devoured by one, Amy Farrah Fowler._

She then reached out her hand and started tugging at the fastening on his pants. His blue eyes went darker as she pulled the zipper down. She hesitated for just a second, then in one quick movement pulled them down. She watched as his features became a sharp blank, his eyes narrowing as she got down on her knees to remove each pant leg along with his socks.

Caution pushed aside, she pulled down his briefs as well and then stood a mere inch from his naked body. He still didn't move, didn't seem to breathe, though she could see the dark heat flare in his eyes as his gaze drifted to her lips.

Her heart pounded wildly as she removed the last two articles of clothing from her body but she managed to ask, "Are you _sure_ you are ready for this Sheldon?"

"Yes." One word that drifted down her spine like a promise of what was to come.

* * *

 _Yes, there IS more…thanks for reading!_


	3. Chapter 3

The Email Confession Chapter 3

* * *

As soon as Sheldon uttered the word 'yes' …a thought crossed his mind…maybe it was better to do what he had come over for now rather than later after all.

"Wait… there is something I need to get."

"Can't it wait Sheldon? She asked as her frustration started setting in again. It was like the make out all over again.

"I'll only be a second." As he turned and started running naked through Amy's apartment she couldn't help but giggle.

As promised, Sheldon returned in a flash… _how ironic…_ holding his messenger bag in front of his manhood. Amy thought that he better have a box of condoms in there or there was going to be hell to pay.

"Amy, there's something I need you to do before we go any further."

"Sheldon! We are both naked! The only logical thing to do is have sex! She exclaimed.

"Please Amy, this is very important," he begged.

"Alright, what is it? She asked as her patience wore thin. He pulled out the revised relationship agreement he had prepared just a few hours ago and presented it to her.

"Really Sheldon? Now you think is the best time to amend the relationship agreement to include coitus? Can you ever NOT live without rules and timelines! Now?"

She had become extremely annoyed , almost infuriated at this point and pulled the comforter off her bed and wrapped herself in it as if that would ease her discomfort or annoyance.

"Amy, just READ it!" Sheldon commanded.

"Fine!" she yelled back and snatched the bound document from his hands.

"It seems lighter," she states.

'It's the abridged version," he says as a smile forms on his lips. Amy turns to the first page but sees nothing. Then she turns to the second page and third and so on.

"Is this some kind of joke Sheldon?"

"I assure you, it is no laughing matter," he replied.

"These pages are empty Sheldon! I don't know what possessed you to give me an empty document," the anger in her voice still very noticeable.

"Amy, Amy, Amy. I thought you were a genius. You should know that every contract has fine print," he stated calmly.

She examines the pages a little closer and realizes that there is, in fact, very fine print at the bottom of each page.

"Sheldon, I can't read this print, even with my glasses. It's just too small."

Sheldon hands her a magnifying glass that he whipped out of his bag that was still resting on his lap covering one specific vital organ and tells her to use it. As Amy starts reading the pages, she got the feeling that Sheldon was up to something. Each page told her to go to the next until finally; she got to the last one. The lettering is of a normal size so she decides to read it aloud.

"In a world where Sheldon Lee Cooper does not meet Amy Farrah Fowler, what is never asked?"

Amy is stumped by this counterfactual style question. They have asked and answered countless queries over the years. She did not possess Sheldon's eidetic memory but decided to take a shot anyway.

"Um…let me think. 'Can I buy you something to drink'?" she asked while lowering her eyebrows.

"No," he says blatantly.

"Defend," she retorts.

"In a world where we never meet, you wouldn't be able to hear me ask if you would marry me," he declares as he looks lovingly into her green eyes.

'Oh Sheldon," she sighs as tears well up, "but why ask now…at this very moment?"

"Because Amy, this making love is a big step that, to be honest, I never had any interest in. _But now_ I do because of you and I want it to be **only** with you…for the rest of our lives…if you agree."

"Dr. Cooper, I must hand it to you. You say that romance is hippy-dippy but this is just the most romantic and whimsically inventive proposal ever!"

Amy was clearly elated. She threw the covers off her and pushed him back on the bed while showering him with kisses, _the bag coming between their 'bathing suit' parts._

"Wait…Amy…wait… Amy, I'm not quite done yet. There's… one...more... thing…" he manages to get in while her lips touched his repeatedly.

"Will this be equally important?" she pants.

He lightly pushes her off him and opens his bag once more. This time he pulls out a small box and hands it to her.

"I believe social convention dictates that when a man proposes marriage he be equipped with a ring, am I correct?" he says plainly.

"You have a ring? An engagement ring? How long have you had this Sheldon?" she asks in astonishment.

"Yes, I have a ring. Yes, it is an engagement ring. I have had it since the day after we filled out the Mars application together since that's when I truly realized that I don't want to be anywhere without you. I knew…but that is when I was absolutely sure."

"And when were you actually planning to give it to me?" she asked inquisitively.

"On our anniversary," he said quietly while lowering his head a little.

Realizing what she missed out on that night, her heart sank. She would have never guessed that Sheldon had wanted her or a permanent future together or that he was capable of doing something completely romantic and conventional. If she had perhaps paid more attention to his body language though…if she had stated right there and then what was bothering her so incredibly much…but what if this was exactly what was needed to put their relationship on track? All these thoughts crossed Amy's mind in the time it took Sheldon to remove the ring from the box and slide it on her finger.

"Amy," he whispered. It was barely audible but enough so to bring Amy out of her trance.

"I love you Dr. Cooper." She professed.

"I know," he replied.

And suddenly, it was if someone had pressed the play button and they picked up where they left off before this pleasant interlude.

Hands trailed up and down each other's bodies as their tongues intertwined in a slow dance.

Soon their kisses grew more urgent. She could feel him growing hard against her thighs. He rolled her over and pressed against her and she let out a sighing breath.

Sheldon broke away from her long enough to reach into his bag, which had been flung near the edge of the bed, to grab a condom.

"I love your preparedness Sheldon," she smirked.

"I wouldn't have it any other way," he said with a grin.

With the necessary protective measures in effect, he positioned himself at her entrance. His face was tight with concentration as if he were contemplating the best course of action to take without inflicting Amy any pain. After all, Sheldon was well-endowed, hence the look of apprehension on her face.

"I'll be gentle," he said in a whisper.

"Okay Sheldon," she answered as she tried to calm herself down.

Sheldon's eyes were dilated, their beautiful ocean blue now almost as dark as night. She leaned her head back against the pillow. She moaned, feeling him inch by unyielding inch.

"OH DEAR LORD," he said as he moved his hips to press into her more deeply.

Once fully plunged in her heat, he stopped moving giving Amy time to adjust to this new sensation and for the sting to subside. Amy nodded when she felt ready to continue on this exhilarating endeavor.

He kissed her slowly, his tongue moving with the rhythm of his lower body, dipping inside her, tasting her and finally biting that lower lip of hers.

She tasted him as well as her body clenched against his. They found a steady pace and slowly he started increasing the pressure. His chest was pressed against her hot skin. He could feel her breasts moving up and down from her erratic breathing. Amy could feel the beat of his heart as she clutched at the back of his neck.

Sheldon picked up in speed. His muscles strained and contracted as he pushed himself to the limit.

"Oh Sheldon… yes…yes," she stammered.

"I'm close," he gasped against her ear.

Amy breathed heavily against him as waves of orgasm passed through her.

"Sheldon!" she cried.

"Yes," he said as he shuddered against her, the resounding pressure of his final thrust causing her own waning orgasm to burst back into life. She cried out again, her arms and legs wrapped around him like a vise.

She might have passed out, she wasn't sure. The intensity of it all overwhelmed both of them and rendered them incapable of doing anything else.

When she blinked moments later, he had eased off her and was lying next to her as shiny beads of sweat trailed down the sides of his cheeks.

"That was hot," Amy released with a long sigh.

"Fascinating," he replied still trying to catch his breath, "but then again, everything is fascinating with you."

Amy melted at his words.

Sheldon, himself, couldn't remember being this loose or relaxed… _ever._

About an hour and two showers plus some cuddling later, he glanced over to Amy and saw that she had a hickey on her neck. Instead of questioning at which point that had appeared, he actually felt a tinge of pride that he, _Mr. No Hormone- as everyone thought_ , had marked his woman.

Amy smiled at him and to her surprise, he kissed her.

"You know," he said slowly as he ran his finger tip across her lip, "we've still got all night."

"I see," she replied eagerly.

He reached into his bag that was now on the floor next to the bed and pulled out a few more condoms. He placed them between her pillows as Amy watched in amazement what her fiancé was doing.

With a raised eyebrow she asked, "You sure, cowboy?"

His grin was fierce.

"Give me a few minutes," he said "and I'll show you what Sheldon Cooper is capable of when he really wants something."

"Oh, I'm counting on it," she replied.

* * *

 _ **THE END**_ _… till season 9..._ :)

* * *

 ** _Thanks to all that read this story. Both my stories have reflected what_ _I_ _think should have been said. The characters are not mine… I don't own them. I just like writing about them and more importantly, reading about them from all the highly talented fan fic writers here. This was my first attempt at something more … "steamy"._**

 ** _I also want to thank all of you who encouraged me to try and to continue. It means a lot to me !_**


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